My addition to the dramatic last two weeks ! ( Good news)

I   have been thinking about all the things that have happened in the lifes of the girls that first made me start this blog - " The fab five " .
The last two weeks have been extremely dramatic for all of us : good news and bad news , it has been about life  and the biggest joy   but also  death and  ttc  and ttc on hold and broken dreams and hopes because of people who let down and dont keep their promise.

To begin with the fantastic news : One of us welcomed her much loved and awaited babygirl  after losing triplet girls last year .

But we also had heartbreaking news :
One of us had her dreams shattered  and heart broken again  and lost her baby
and one of us  has to face the dissapointment of a failed adoption of a child that was much welcome .
One of us has to put TTC on hold for one cycle because  of a vaccination which may sound like no big deal but for someone who is TTC its very frustrating.

To my big surprise  I will also contribute  to  the drama  as I discovered that Im pregnant.
I feel so mixed emotions to say it in a time like this when so many hard things has happened to my friends but I decided I will just do it as it is a part of life  as it is right now .
I feel happy but being a person that has experienced miscarriage I dont take anything for granted anymore and Im afraid to make up plans for the future  but only live day by day.
And I subconsciously prepare my self for the possibility that I can loose the baby again¨.
I know I have a lot of work to do to handle this.
I wish it was different but its like a have a colud of worries hanging over me .
Im going back to my therapist after the holiday to discuss this as I know I might not bond with the baby if I dont get over it somehow. I try to be cautiously hopeful  but its not the same as the first time.
Its yet very early ( week 4-5 ) so I have only told my husband and my brother and sister and Im not prone to tell anyone else yet .

I hope that this weeks good news  (the safe arrival of Nans baby girl and my  positive HPT ) will be a beginning of more good news to come soon  from all of us .
I pray for everyone  for peace , faith and hope and lots of joy and happiness in our lifes to come .
I want to thank you all for sharing your stories with me and for all the support you have given me .

Love  you -  Angie

To Nan

This week has been crazy and my head is full of thoughts and emotions so much has happened for  " the fab five " 
Today I want to celebrate  Nan  that is preparing for the delivery of her  baby tomorrow .
This is a very much loved baby  that Nan and Mike were blessed with after losing their triplet girls  last year.
I have found this picture for you for good luck , for our sweet " ladybug " .
Dear Nan  ! Know that I will  think about you and pray for you tomorrow .
Beleive that you can do this!  Upbring all selfconfidence you can . You can do this !!!Now its your time to have a happy end .
Remember that most pregnancies do have a happy end and most deliveries are succesful .
We all know to well of the komplications that can happen but still the  majority  do have an happy end .
Sending you lots of love