I have been thinking about all the things that have happened in the lifes of the girls that first made me start this blog - " The fab five " .
The last two weeks have been extremely dramatic for all of us : good news and bad news , it has been about life and the biggest joy but also death and ttc and ttc on hold and broken dreams and hopes because of people who let down and dont keep their promise.
To begin with the fantastic news : One of us welcomed her much loved and awaited babygirl after losing triplet girls last year .
But we also had heartbreaking news :
One of us had her dreams shattered and heart broken again and lost her baby
and one of us has to face the dissapointment of a failed adoption of a child that was much welcome .
One of us has to put TTC on hold for one cycle because of a vaccination which may sound like no big deal but for someone who is TTC its very frustrating.
To my big surprise I will also contribute to the drama as I discovered that Im pregnant.
I feel so mixed emotions to say it in a time like this when so many hard things has happened to my friends but I decided I will just do it as it is a part of life as it is right now .
I feel happy but being a person that has experienced miscarriage I dont take anything for granted anymore and Im afraid to make up plans for the future but only live day by day.
And I subconsciously prepare my self for the possibility that I can loose the baby again¨.
I know I have a lot of work to do to handle this.
I wish it was different but its like a have a colud of worries hanging over me .
Im going back to my therapist after the holiday to discuss this as I know I might not bond with the baby if I dont get over it somehow. I try to be cautiously hopeful but its not the same as the first time.
Its yet very early ( week 4-5 ) so I have only told my husband and my brother and sister and Im not prone to tell anyone else yet .
I hope that this weeks good news (the safe arrival of Nans baby girl and my positive HPT ) will be a beginning of more good news to come soon from all of us .
I pray for everyone for peace , faith and hope and lots of joy and happiness in our lifes to come .
I want to thank you all for sharing your stories with me and for all the support you have given me .
Love you - Angie