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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Am I going crazy? a week in TTC-world

This week has been a rollercoaster pending between hope , dissapointment and back to hope again.
All this depending on the result on the OPK -stick.....
Monday: didnt think its the right time yet.... was still visiting my sister after helping her with the move, she got a horrible gastroenteritis so I took care of her , got her some groceries and cooked some soup .Came home late in the evening .Did the samba,mambo and so on with hubby just in case....

Tuesday: Felt good even if I didnt think it was time for ovulation yet ( Wednesday was the day according to charting calendar)
Went out with hubby to favourite Italian restaurant for pizza and antipasti after work : ) What a great preludium for TTC !
In the evening began to feel worse: The gastroenteritis probably was winter vomiting disease :(
Spent too much time in the bathroom that night..... did I mention TTC ? was I ever thinking about it ?

Wednesday: Knocked out , in bed with high temp ( Concerned about not being able to do the charting because of the fever )
My hopes down because TTC not possible when having gastroenteritis : (

Thursday : Still weak but better :) Desoriented because I couldnt do the charting properly, did I miss the ovulation day? ( Thinking ok it wasnt meant to be this month ) Depressed.....
WHEN will it work????

Friday: No I wont give up ....temperature still not high as after ovulation ....I try the OPK
OPK shows O :(

Saturday : Desperate ! One more OPK shows O , temperature still not up . Oh there is something wrong with me ! 3 days delayed ovulation ! my body is failing me ....why oh why ? depressed again...

Sunday : OPK -stick shows : ) !!!! Ovulation was delayed because of tummybug! Im exhausted from all the mind set on thinking this cycle is lost .
Have to readjust ....get into TTC mode .....GET INTO TTC MODE !
puh! .....
( Hubby must think Im crazy changing mood all the time and can you blame him? )
I need to relax !
How do I do ? How do I stop focuse so much on this ?
Is it possible ?
Give all the worries to our Higher Power ?
Im going to think about this the next few days ( I hope not the next few weeks....;) )


  1. Hello Sweet Friend,

    To answer your question, NO you are not going crazy. Just a few weeks ago I too had delayed ovulation on day 17 instead of the usual day 14-15 and it gave me great anxiety, which I think cause further interruption in my cycle. Not to mention my new workout routine playing its role in the havoc.

    I relate to all the temping and peeing on sticks...but I'm tired of all of this. I need a break! This cycle I am going to let go. I have to for my peace of mind. I'm going to focus on myself and do the things that I enjoy. I'll use my fertility monitor, but am thinking I may skip the temping and give it a rest. Until this month, my cycles have been normal, so I'm chalking this up to anxiety and the new workout. Done!

    I've come to the realization that we can't force this to happen and the more we try to the results are not going to be in our favor. The brain sends anxiety signals to the "baby factory" and our hormones go hay wire! As much as I hate to admit this, I believe stress does play a role in fertility...did I just actualy admit this???

    So, I say...we have to divert our attention to something else. How? I have no idea, but I'm gonna give it a whirl. I know one thing for certain, it's going to happen. When? I don't know, but it will happen! Let's just try be good to ourselves and indulge in all things "ME".

    Sending you love and hope that you are feeling better. I'm going to rally you to the finish you say, we are only 1/2 way in our "trying". And, your body is HEALTHY...your tests were good, so focus on that :)

    Much Love now and Always!
    your kindred spirit across the pond

  2. Angie,
    You are not going crazy, on this TTC journey this is as andrea says "our new norm". It's a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions. For me i try to stay busy , and if not that i pray really hard for peace of mind, which thankfully god has answered that prayer because for the last few days i have just been able to focus on hubby and i and not make everything about TTC. As for ideas i say maybe to try and focus on things that you enjoy doing, or as you said giving it to higher power, but whatever you do , do what makes you feel at peace and happy. Hugs and Love .

  3. If you're crazy we're all crazy and at least we'll have good company when they finally lock us up!! :) It is exhausting & stressful, I've been trying not to test & stress & worry & the results haven't been any more impressive! Ugh, just want this part to be over, but at least we have each other!! Thanks for your sweet friendship!!

  4. I think Andrea is starting to master the word "focus" and "treat yourself", and she is teaching us all well. Let us know if you have any insight to this as its all helpful to hear. Great post....keep it up! Love, Nan xxxooo