I decided to start my own blog after hesitating for a long time .
Do I have something to say here ? Can I add something meaningful ?
I dont know , but today I feel I want to be able to share my thoughts and maybe get some feedback from others.
Blogging is new to me but I have followed my friends blogs here , friends that I have never met in real life but that I care about very much and that have helped me through so many hard days.
I have met them through the website " ourmiscarriage" that I found one day when I was very sad and down after suffering a miscarriage in May 2009 .I had a missed miscarriage at w 7 + 4 but I thought I was nearly 11 weeks pregnant at the time when it happened .This was our first pregnancy and it was so devastating to have the joy of pregnancy terminated .
Less than 3 months after, in early August 2009 , my father passed away.
The last year has been one of the worst in my life, the dreams I had for my life were crushed and I have cried a lot but at the same time my heart was filled with thankfullness and hope as I have got so much support and care from girls being in a similar situation .I never thought it was possible to get so much help from people you have never met in real life .
I consider it magic , or a gift from God .
I came to realize that the people that were closest to me , my family and my friends didnt know how to handle my situation , didnt know how to comfort me and I have understood that if you havent experienced a loss yourself its very hard to understand how it feels like for someone else.
Since the summer 2009 I have followed four beautiful woman through their journeys in life , woman that I met on the website " ourmiscarriage" and that have become very close to my heart ,to know them has made me a better person and has helped me to cope with my grief .
I am not a native english speaker but I still want to try to post in english as I want to be in touch with the wonderful people I have met .
Me and my husband are now trying to conceive again but it hasnt been as straight forward as I thought - nearly six months has passed since we started to try but still no positive HPT .
I try to stay patient as I know that sometimes it can take some time and we havent tried for a year yet but ideally I would want to see that plus sign ASAP....
I thank God for having met people that understand me and " walk" through this journey together with me even if our journeys are different .
Thank you Andrea ,Deni, Nancy and Shandrea for sharing your thoughts and giving me inspiration to stay hopeful and positive , you are the best friends I could have wished for.
You understand , you care to pick me up when Im down and you can make me laugh and make me see the positives .
I wish we could meet up on a regular basis and talk , laugh but also cry if we need to, I know we would enjoy eachothers company.
This is only a dream now as we live in different states and on different continents but I am so happy to know you and to be able to share my life and thoughts with you.