First I want to thank you everyone for stopping by and write me some words of comfort .
I warms my heart to know that there is people out there that understand and care and pray for me and wish me well .
In a world where miscarriage and infertility is still pretty much taboo Im so grateful to have found so much support , this is something that all the money in the world cant buy , it makes me keep my hope when its really low .I dont know what I would have done without it .
Unfortunately I have bad news as 2 days ago I started to bleed and the bleeding continues so I miscarried again.
I feel tired and sad and numb .
I think life is so unfair , why cant I at least have one normal pregnancy ? And bring at least one healthy baby to this world?
I know we will try again as there is so much to gain by trying but right now I need to heal both physically and emotionally .
I decided to take a week off work as I was supposed to start working tomorrow ( monday ) but I cant decide if I want to say that I had a miscarriage as I dont think I can handle questions and other peoples reaction right now .
At the same time I dont like to keep it a secret because then I contribute to the taboo of miscarriage .
I think Im not strong enough to face questions and hugs and comments about it yet so I will probably not say what happened yet.
I dont think I can go in to work yet as I feel I need some time to heal before I go back .